Avoidant Paruresis – Don’t Just Accept It
As a fellow sufferer you will already know about the actual symptoms of Paruresis and how hard it is to take a pee when not in “safe” and private surroundings.
The symptoms are bad enough but, left unchecked, they will develop into avoidant paruresis which takes things to a whole new level and is something you’ll want to prevent if you possibly can … and you can!
So … let me explain exactly what avoidant paruresis is and how it can be prevented / treated.
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The Symptoms Of Paruresis
Paruresis or Shy Bladder Syndrome is “the inability to initiate or sustain effective urination (micturition) in situations where there is a perception of scrutiny, or potential scrutiny, by others”. In simple terms this means that a sufferer will find it difficult to urinate when others are present or if there is a danger of others being around – typically in public / work facilities.
This is caused by an irrational perceived feeling of being measured, scrutinised or judged by those who can hear or see them or they feel under time pressure from those who know where they are and what they’re doing.
The Effects Of Paruresis
A Paruretic will fear having to use public facilities no matter where they are – they need to go to the toilet / restroom but nothing happens, so they feel embarrassed, maybe pretend to have gone, wash their hands and leave the toilet / restroom without having alleviated the need to pee. They still need to go but now face the pressure of having to keep up the pretence in front of those they are with (friends, loved ones or colleagues) for fear of questions or embassment of having to go again so quickly.
This means discomfort and pre-occupation of having to pee rather than focussing on what theyy should be doing or enjoying themselves. The pressure they put themselves under builds and develops to the point where they dread the thought of having to use public / work facilities and this is when avoidant paruresis creeps in and begins to take control.
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Avoidant Paruresis
With the mind having become fixated on the problem of “what happens when I need to pee” and “what happens if I can’t start a flow” it starts to look for answers and the easiest solution to the problem is to decide on the simple solution – “don’t put yourself in that position in the first place”. Avoidance of awkward situations therefore seems the only or the easy way out!
Don’t take that trip with friends to the concert or theatre, don’t go to that family meal, make an excuse to not be available to go to the party, don’t accept thet job because you can’t get home at lunchtime to use your own bathroom, or even pretend you’re ill and don’t go to work. This is what we mean by avoidance paruresis! Yes … what seems, on the face of it, to be a relatively trivial social phobia can, and often does, develop into a condition that is life affecting.
Imagine not going out becasue of the fear of having to use public facilities? Unfortunately some of you will already be able to relate to this! It’s bad enough that you yourself will miss out on so much but think also about the effect this has on friends, family, colleagues etc and what they think about you. They won’t understand, they will become frustrated with you and relationships will begin to breakdown and the invites will stop coming.
Avoidant paruresis is therefore choosing to avoid situations where you may be affected and embarrassed by the symptoms of shy bladder syndrome instead of choosing to face the conditiona and treat the phobia itself. It may seem and easy fix but it’s certainly not the right way out and it’s not going to do you, your relationships or your life any good whatsoever. So you should always avoid avoidance!
Avoid Avoidance
The whole purpose of this website is to drive home the fact that paruresis CAN be treated and overcome. This can be done in various ways … through face to face therapy or discretely utilising one of a number of self help programs and treatments. Tackle the problem dont don’t mask over the symptoms because doing that is only going to strengthen the condition and it will become worse.
Don’t forget – shy bladder syndrome is NOT a physical condition. There is nothing medically wrong (always check with a medical professional forst of course), the condition is a form of social anxiety and hence driven from the mind.
Open up and share if you can as this simple act will alleviete som much pressure you have put on yourself. Having someone you are close to understand makes such a huge difference. We recognise this is difficult and you may not feel able to share but, you can still overcome paruresis even without sharing with anyone – just check out the treatment options and links to organisations on the website to find the discrete help and support you need.
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- Simple to follow, step-by-step format
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