How To Treat Paruresis And Overcome Shy Bladder Syndrome Yourself
You now know that the effective treatment of shy bladder syndrome involves changing the way the subconcious thoughts control your actions. Something in your mind is coming up with a thought that restroom represent “danger” and, in turn, these thoughts control the action of clamping up and not being able to start a flow. So in order to effectively treat paruresis and overcome shy bladder syndrome yourself you’re going to need to change this and relax the mind. And whilst face to face therapy is always going to help you can do this yourself. It’s going to take time and commitment but you CAN do it.
Here’s a few things you can try:
Accept It’s Irrational
Take time out, maybe thing back to what might have triggered the onset of paruresis in your specific case. Think about how it make you feel. Write down the thoughts you have relating to your anxiety. This could be when you have a social event to attend – do you ever think about what happens when you need to pee? Does it affect your decision to attend or not? Think about how you feel when you know you have to take a pee. How do you feel when you walk towards the restroom. Are you hoping it’s going to be empty? Do you hope there’s a cubical free? Think about how you feel when you’re in there. Are you nervous? Do you try to hide? Are you trying to find space and privacy? Do you panic to try and get a flow started quickly before anyone comes in?
Write all your thoughts down then take this a step further. You know how you feel but ask yourself one simple question … WHY do I feel this way? Work out what you’re worried about. Is it people watching you? Perhaps it’s people judging you? Maybe it’s people laughing at you? Just what is it you’re worried about???
Now you have a list of you thoughts and feelings. Read them, read them again, study them … is there anything that is raional about these thoughts and feelings?
The answer will be a resounding NO. And so the first thing you can do is accept the fact that your condition is completely irrational. There really is no need to feel that way.
Accepting this is the first step.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
So, no you’ve accepted the irrational nature of the thoughts and feelings it’s time to start working on relaxing the mind. This is where breathing can really help. Deep breathing is proven to help all forms of anxiety. It works by delivering an instruction to the nervous system to relax and to calm both the mind and the body. It’s an exercise that will help and one that you can do yourself whenever you need it and no one need know.
Simply take in a slow, deep breathe though the nose, Count slowly to four as your breathing in. Feel it fill your lungs entirely, feel your abdomin inflate like a baloon. Then exhale through the mouth. Do it slowly counting to four again. Make sure you exhale and empty the lungs completely.
You may find it helpful to think about how confident you are and how you can easily pee as you take each breath in and release all the irational thoughts and feelings you’ve listed as you exhale.
Do this around 10 times whenever you need to – it could be on the way to the restroom, when you know you have to go or even before you step up to the urinal etc. You’ll be amazed how much this helps.
Take It Steady
There is another popular treatment called Graduated Exposure Therapy. This, as the name suggests, involved building your confidence by gradually puting yourself in situations of incrasing challenge.
So, now you know your anxiety is brought on by irrational fears and actions, now you know how you can relax and calm the mind and body start to challenge yourself gradually.
Start by putting yourself in a situation when you know you’ll be able to pee. This could be a quiet restroom or an area of a restroom you feel comfortable in. Breath in the positivity and confidence and release the irrational thoughts. Step up and start a flow and lock it into your conscious memory. Think how it feels, How confident your are. Think how it feels natural. What were you ever worried about!
Do this again and again. Each time remembering the irrational nature of your anxiety. Doing the breathing exercises but recalling how easy it was the last time you went, how confident you felt how natural it was. Then, very gradually start to build up to slightly more challenging environments. Still taking the same steps but maybe going to a restroom that’s slightly busier or an area that’s slightly less private etc.
Keep doing this very gradually. Each time putting yourself in a very slightly more difficult environment. Take a step back if you fail at any stage and build up again.
Each time your confidence is improving. Remember the feelings and use them to your advantage and you’ll be amazed how this will help. Just as your condition of shy bladder syndrome built up like a snowball so will your journey to shy bladder freedom. Each time you’re building confidence ever so slightly – until you’re at the point when the fears are gone.
Help Is Out There
This feature is about how to treat paruresis and overcome shy bladder syndrome yourself but that doesn’t mean you cant get external help and support.
If you’re not going the therapy route because of cost then remember that help doesn’t need to cost the earth. And if you’re not going the therapy route because you want to keep it to yourself and not tell anyone then you can still get help that is completely discrete.
Because shy bladder syndrome is so common there are a number of books on the subject which can really help. And we don’t mean you need to have a library on your book case for al to see! These days electronic books are so easy, usually cost less than physical books and are completely discrete. We’ve listed a few of the better ones in our shy bladder book reviews or you could simply do a quick Amazon search – you’ll be amazed how many books on teh subject are out there.
Then there are a number of highly effective and totally discrete self-help programs. There’s two we specifically suggest you check out (links to both are below:
The Paruresis Treatment Program costs $67 but is incredibly comprehensive. Better still it’s an electronic download so it’s completely private and discrete. We’ve written a Paruresis Treatment System Review so you can find out all the details but it’s incredibly comprehensive and one of the best programs we’ve come across.
Last, but certainly not least, we suggest you consider a self-hypnotherapy program called Overcome Shy Bladder. It’s a short audio download which you can access anywhere, anytime, on any audio device or va an App. At less that $15 it’s highly affordable and incredily cost effective and can support you on everystep of your journey to being paruresi free. Read our Overcome Shy Bladder review.